Neteri Ka Xaibit
by Yami-Echo
Summary: When Yugi and Ryou died, they had very different expectations than what actually happened. Being sent back into the past to 'deal with their issues' didn't appeal, especially with a dick of a pharaoh and a theif king involved.


**Looking for beta; if interested, please contact me. Qualifications aren't needed; a solid interest is better.**

I've been reading a lot of YuGiOh stories lately, some that I haven't read since I was thirteen, and I found, to my great amusement, a really fun plot to play with and add my own personal spice to.

'Neteri Ka Xaibit' means Shadow's Light, as far as I know. A friend of mine who's studied the book of the dead told me that's generally what it means, so hopefully I'm not getting my leg pulled. Sounds cool, anyway.

This is yaoi, but is rated M for suicide, language, and probably other things. I really don't feel like repeating that I have this as M for a reason, so unless you're critiquing for a damn good reason, be forewarned.

Assume ages all you want; unless someone's really picky about ages then I doubt I'll put any up, due to how difficult it is to find a timeline of ages on the internet.

Other than that, please enjoy this story. I took the time to research a little bit about Egyptian society, so hopefully this will be as historically accurate as fan fictions can get.

**369369369**

_When blood and youth were warmer  
we breathed summer like the sweet air  
we found each other like a mirror.  
We were so optimistic,  
wasn't it so easy to be?  
We we're young and naive._

Can you pull down the dawn?  
It's been so dark since you've been gone  
and we've been begging for the morning to come.  
We were so optimistic,  
wasn't it so easy to be?  
We were young and naive.

_The Hush Sound- Eileen_

**369369369**

"This isn't the tale of a great Pharaoh. Everyone has his own story. This story may be ending, but my story is just beginning."

Ha. Yeah right.

I lost my Pharaoh six days after my birthday; June 4th, 2006. In fact, I don't remember celebrating my birthday that year; or the year before that, or the year before that- not since the year I finished the Millennium puzzle. And, as you could guess, that was quite some time ago.

To be honest, even with all the horrible crap that went down, having mine and other's souls taken here there and everywhere, stopping psychotic yami's from destroying the world or my friends, it always felt like I'd gotten the best birthday present I could have asked for. I had my friends, my puzzle, but best of all, I had Yami. The little sensation that had been a part of me since the puzzle was completed, so long ago. The feeling of affection and protectiveness that had been an active part of every waking hour, allowing me to come out of my shell, be myself; because if anything threatened me, then Yami would be there.

I wondered, briefly, if everyone had been intending to celebrate my birthday this year. We weren't as close as we once were, all studying hard to make up for the years of skipping out to save the world, but maybe my grandpa would try and organize something…or would have.

"Tell me why you have cyanide in your cupboards again." I raised a brow at Ryou as I said this, watching has he calmly stirred a carefully measured amount of said deadly chemical in a glass of tap water.

"Its potassium cyanide," Ryou corrected, finishing with that glass and carefully measuring out another dose of diluted chemical in another. "My father dabbled in Entomology for a while; the study of bugs. It was a good way to kill them without damaging the insect. Later, when I got my Ring, he bought some for cleaning purposes." Ryou smiled, somewhat bitterly. "But the Ring never really needed cleaning."

I nodded in understanding. The Millennium Puzzle had been the same; absolutely spotless after years of abuse. I'd given up cleaning it after Yami had pointed out that my half hearted attempts were pretty useless for a dark object that had kept itself dusted and pristine for 5000 years.

Shaking my head, I continued to watch Ryou as he completed his work. Everything had been very processed, calculated; it proved something that made my heart ache with compassion.

Ryou had been thinking about death a lot longer than the two of us had been discussing it.

It had been hard for both of us, to deal without our yami's. No one else had understood, not even, sadly, Malik; there was a big difference between a personality glitch that you'd never wanted and a voice that had constantly guided you for several years, good or bad. School had made the difference bearable to everyone; it gave the others an excuse we didn't have the heart to make up for our distance.

Ryou and I had stuck together, but even then, we hadn't really talked much. There was an understanding between us, a companionship in the silence; because we both knew we were thinking the same thing. About everything that we'd lost, and how hard it was to keep sane in the sudden, complete, silence.

A week ago, I'd appeared on Ryou's doorstep, soaked from the pouring rain I'd walked through to get to his small, lonely house. I'd stepped into the living room, running a hand through my limp hair as I glanced around the barely lived in living room before turning to Ryou and asking the question that had been dying to burst from my lips for weeks.

"Do ever feel like dying?" Ryou smiled, and just from that, I knew everything was okay. That he had been feeling the same, that I could trust this decision.

We talked for a long time, about how neither of us had gone to a psychiatrist or even could, because there just wasn't anyone who could understand. About the unbearable loneliness, the dulling of emotion, the lacklustre that life seemed to hold now. Both Ryou and I had given up Duel Monsters, tired of a game that had once been so electrifying, that now seemed so…cold.

It wasn't a decision we had made lightly. We had discussed not only the impact it would make for ourselves, but for the people around us. People did suicide every day without thought, and it was frustrating to think that people would be unlikely to understand exactly why Ryou and I felt that this was the best thing to do. It was hard to explain to someone, even metaphorically, what you were supposed to be feeling after losing half of your soul. No, neither of us was going into this without serious thought, but it was unlikely anyone would really understand.

Funnily enough, I had the vaguest feeling Joey would be the one to make sense of this out of everyone. Besides Ryou, he was the most clued in person I knew.

"_I look at you, and I know you're different," _He'd told me one day, as we took a rare moment to go to the arcade together. _"You had someone else in your head for so long, it's not that hard to understand why."_

I would miss Joey, but I know, out of all of them, he would deal. Tea, on the other hand, was likely to have a mental breakdown. She had taken Yami's leaving hard, and I doubt my death would be any easier for an already broken girl. Honda would retreat inside himself, Duke would busy himself in his work, Mokuba wouldn't understand what was going on in the slightest and Kaiba…

Hell, Seto would just be pissed.

I tried hard not to think about my grandpa.

"Yugi" Ryou called softly, and I blinked, focusing back on the room and giving him a sheepish smile. He smiled back, understanding in every way, and my heart went out to him. He really was one of the greatest friends a person could ask for. "You should be able to drink one of these in a minute. It should only take five minutes for the chemicals to react." He handed me a glass of what looked to be innocent water, and I frowned into it.

"You've thought this out a lot, haven't you?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "You've taken care of all the details; a death which is unlikely to be painful, with a substance that ensures cardiac arrest… you even knew how much you could put in without turning the water acidic enough to burn." Ryou nodded, gaze far away from my face.

"I've been thinking about this for months." He admitted.

"Then why haven't you already gone through with it?" I questioned, at ease with… everything. Watching the toxic water with fascination, and a complete lack of fear, death being an idea I had grown used to long ago.

"What, and leave you to fend for yourself?" He smiled, chocolate eyes focusing on me with brotherly affection. "It didn't feel right to leave without you; it wasn't like I had a time limit." I returned his smile; there was no need to say thank you. My face said it all.

We sat there in the comfort of each others company for what seemed like days, though I knew it was less than a few minutes. It was an odd way to die; I'm sure- a tea party gone wrong, my mind wickedly supplied. It was kind of surreal; in a way, I was excited. Death was something I had yet to experience; it had a chance of being the most exciting thing I had done all year.

"Bottoms up, Yugi" Ryou said finally, raising his glass. I raised my own, and laughed as we clinked out glasses together in a morbid toast.

"To death." I said mockingly, and we downed our glasses quickly. Once again there was silence in the kitchen, but the atmosphere had changed, from thoughtful to the cat that had eaten the canary; smug, bloated, content.

I didn't get much time to lull in this contentment. Ryou picked up the glasses and brought them over to the sink to wash up, all the while showing his knowledge of our chosen way to go.

"You've got about a minute to get into the lounge room and make yourself comfortable." I stood hastily and made my way into the faux cheerful little room. Settling down into one of the cushy purple seats, I sighed and tilted my head back, listening as Ryou followed my example.

"…We'll be dead within fifteen to forty-five minutes." Ryou said softly, sounding tired, and…sad. "You know, I never expected to go this way."

"Neither did I." I answered, just as soft. "I always thought I'd get to look like my grandpa before I'd even have to worry about it." Ryou's chuckle filled the air.

"You already look like your grandpa, Yugi." I mumbled a response, more tired than I'd realized I could be. I couldn't open my eyes anymore, though I could hear the clock on the mantle piece ticking. Wetting my lips, I tried to speak once more.

"Ryou'?"

"Mm?"

"…G'night."

I heard a sigh, and then slowly, the ticking stopped.

It was replaced by a beating sound, which, somehow, I knew was my heart. It went on steadily, before picking up the pace, and then stopping altogether. If I'd been capable of doing so, I would have cried. Out of relief that everything was finally over… and out of sadness, knowing that this was not an adventure I could come back from.

It had fulfilled its whispered promise, though. Death was definitely the most exciting experience I had felt in a very long time.

"Yugi Mutou, you complete fool." A growl, like the rasping of sand and the howling of a pack of wolves, filled my ears. The voice was painful, and yet, completely devoid of feeling at the same time.

I opened my eyes, and stared at the enigma that was Anubis, weigher of the dead. The body of a man, and the head of a jackal; hid black fur looked rough to the touch, his ears laid back as he bared his teeth in a threatening snarl. Apparently he was far from happy.

"You… moron! You fool! What the hell am I supposed to do with this mess?!" Anubis cried, yells coming out as howls of annoyance. I stared at him, dazed as he continued ranting about my seeming stupidity, only stopping when a quiet _'pop' _occurred beside me. "And you, Ryou Bakura!" He snarled in rage. "Is your soul not tarnished enough without adding murder to the list?!"

"That wasn't his fault!" I snapped in his defence, glaring at the god. He glared back, then sighed and turned away, muttering to himself.

"Even after killing yourself you still act so defensively of your friends... you, Yugi Mutou, are a displeasing enigma at best." I frowned. This was not in the slightest bit what I'd expected to happen after I died. I believed and followed the religious texts of the Ancient Egyptians, but there were customs to the afterlife, none of which were being called upon right now, for either me or Ryou.

"Shouldn't you be weighing my heart right about now?" Anubis laughed; a cold, cutting sound that would've scared me if I was alive, but as it was, there was little to be scared of anymore.

"Why? So Ammit can enjoy yet another heart?" Anubis continued to laugh, but now, I felt fear. Ammit; the demon who eats the hearts which weighed heavier than the feather of Ma'at. My heart was heavier than the feather of Ma'at?

"You were both too impatient in your dabbling. Selfish brats; did you really think about the consequences of your actions? You, leaving an old man to die alone? A friend to go insane? And you; murderer. More like your yami than most would give credit to." Every word was like a loud slap, and I glanced to the side where Ryou stood beside me, brown eyes shining with tears.

"We couldn't live anymore; are you telling me we should've continued existing as we were?!" I stared, taken aback by Ryou's outburst. He was more upset then I'd given him credit for, even on the verge of tears. I could almost feel his heart breaking. Anubis, however, snorted, not in the least moved his question.

"No matter the cause, the two of you have put me in quite a predicament." He glanced at me, yellow eyes searing with a blaze that could only be contained by a god. "Atem demanded you be allowed to join him and Osiris in the afterlife. By committing suicide and giving thought to those who you left behind, yet showing no remorse for most of their suffering, your heart is now heavier than the feather of truth and justice. You have gone against your character, and turned your back on those who loved you."

I stood there, quiet, contemplating. The floor, made of sandstone, much like the traditional palaces and temples of Egypt, suddenly seemed a lot more interesting than the face of a god. But not because I felt guilt. Not quite.

In fact, I was rather angry at the injustice of how I'd been summarized.

"Is this the character the gods have assumed me to be whilst I still had a yami, or the character that must stand as a single entity? Because the way you're describing me seems to be of the opinion that even disconnected, Atem and I would retain the characteristics of being purely light or purely dark, and yet, no such thing exists." Anubis blinked, and Ryou poked me lightly in the ribs, but I continued my tirade anyway.

"Do you really, think, as a mere mortal, as well as half a soul, I would pertain to light for the rest of my life? Even without Atem's interference in my life, I would never have been so bold as to say I would have remained so ignorant. As half a soul, a hikari; yes, I will always be lighter than the average human. But there is a difference between pure and innocent, and your harsh judgement upon me and Ryou proves the God's utter ignorance in such a concept."

The three of us stood there; Ryou in terrified silence, brown eyes flicking back and forth between myself and Anubis, the latter appearing to be in deep thought, animal face wrinkled in consternation.

I, however, stood as tall and proud as Yami always had. To be unfairly judged in such a way, to have Ryou unfairly judged as well, had brought out the darkness in me that had returned to my side after the late pharaoh's final departure. Darkness' strength, I thought with a wry smile, was certainly a lot louder than the quiet iron will of Light.

My speech, I knew, had won me freedom from the jaws of Ammit; and most likely Ryou's as well. But had it won me the afterlife I craved; the afterlife Ryou craved? One with our yamis'? It was hard to tell from Anubis' face, and despite my raging pride, I began to feel nervous. It was highly likely that I would be rejected from the Underworld, refused the rights of the Afterlife for insulting the gods. But the idea of bowing down to such callous, self-righteous people, gods or not; worse, the look on Yami's face if he knew I had bowed down to such stupidity, made me shudder with loathing.

My twitching seemed to bring Anubis back from inside his mind; he blinked at me questioningly, before addressing the both of us with what looked like mild concern written across his features.

"When we began to anticipate your arrival, this was no how we expected it. You too are far different from the desired- needed- state of mind. Osiris and I have conferred; Yugi Mutou, Ryou Bakura, you have but two choices. It is our wish that Yugi join the pharaoh's and their daily and nightly duties, so a one year period will be given in which you will be placed in the situation most likely to rectify the damage done. At the end of that year period, we will be willing to forgo the weighing of the heart if that is your wish, and reunite you with your pharaoh." Anubis gave a mocking smile. "Ryou Bakura, in return for your agreement o join Yugi in his trials, we will agree to disregard any justice served by Ammit, and allow both you and your…yami to rejoin each other in the Field of Reeds"

Ryou took in a sharp breathe as I let out a sigh of relief. I had the choice to be with Yami; a choice I would take gladly. Ryou…

Ryou, I realized, shocked, was being given the option of something he could never have hoped for. I hadn't even thought about it, before. Of course Bakura would have been devoured by Ammit; which meant that Ryou had been using me to try and join him!

I looked over at him, and he looked back, eyes apologetic. But I couldn't be mad with him. After all, I had used him just as much as he had used me.

There was no need to ask Ryou any questions. The answer was obvious for both of us as I stepped closer to Ryou, and nodded in assent.

Anubis smiled; fangs protruding from his mouth as he leered at us almost… predatorily.

"Good." He all but purred, and I couldn't help thinking that maybe we had made the wrong choice.

Almost at the same time, Ryou and I looked over at each other, and smiled nervously.

**369369369**

Whilst I could've continued from there, there was a large part of me that said this was the best time to stop. As it is, I feel this is a good length to start a good base for my story, especially with my intentions to put up the next chapter within the next week.

There were a few references I made in the story that may have been confusing to people, or just intrigued you. Hopefully the points below will take care of any questions, but don't be afraid to ask if there's something you'd like to know.

**Suicide using potassium cyanide was actually something I looked up. **Its amazing what kind of sites the internet holds, and I found one that had instructions on how to use potassium cyanide; the amount, the effects, the time it generally takes till a person dies; ect. It's 50% more effective if the person has had alcohol, but I didn't feel alcohol was needed

**The rituals of the Egyptian afterlife and what gods and demons controlled it was also something I looked up. **To be less confusing I tried not to add anything about the soul; the ka, ba, akh, name and shadow have too much that needs to be explained to add them into this chapter. Maybe later. As it is, if anyone should request it; I'll put some links up to help people better understand my references to the trials that the Egyptians believed to have occurred after death.

I can't really think of much more to say than…review. It would be a pleasure to receive some.


End file.
